A Brief Hiatus

First, my apologies for the extended break I took from this blook. Life got in my way. Just when I thought I had everything going in the right direction, the weekend from Hell got me. First, I just need to say, Karma is, in fact, a bitch. At the very least, a cruel mistress. Long story short, one bad weekend left me less one car, my health and my economic stability. But, now I once again have wheels, my health and a fairly firm grasp on my finances, so I can resume my LoL activities.

I've determined something recently about myself, that I'm ashamed to admit; I need to get a life. Somehow, I've gotten so wrapped up in finding work and so resigned to my rural life, that I no longer have hobbies that I pursue. It took an argument with my manfriend to illuminate it for me, but I no longer do any of the things that I used to do for release and fulfillment.

Sure, I have friends and every now and then I see them for an evening or a lunch. But, I stopped meeting my workout buddy because I now live in a place with a free facility. Sure, I'm no longer paying for my workouts, but I'm also not enjoying them and they've become much less frequent.

I don't sing anymore except for in my car. It got so bad a few weeks ago that I had to stop and mock myself. If there was a legitimate award for over-the-top car singing, I'd be this year's winner. From 5th grade until I graduated from college, singing in some capacity was always my therapy. The combination of the musical and social aspects were magical for me. I can't believe it's been over six years since I sang with a group.

I don't fill my days. I used to thrive on filled days. Not necessarily activity at every moment, but a sense of a schedule during which I fit in work, social engagements, hobbies, study or reading, down time and meals. It made the days when I got a cancellation or a break from one of those things, seem special. I used to get gleeful when I could cross something out of my planner. Now, I often struggle to fill my days and I look forward to getting to write things into that same planner. Strangely, when I was busy all the time, I never needed the planner because some part of my brain took care of remembering all of my appointments. Now, I need to look at it daily just to remember the simplest schedule. I believe my brian might actually be atrophying.

The Lady of Leisure challenge from now until the end of the year is to get a life. I'm prepared to take my own challenge and document my progress daily. As usual, I will be brutally honest. With any luck, I'll be able to make this into a real turn-around and not just a temporary change. But, fear of relapse is no reason not to try!