At twenty-eight, I have an adoring and adored man, a fabulous job that challenges me and helps others, and a charming old house with a wrap around porch. I come home and make dinner before settling in to pour over a great book or some unfinished work. Or, my man and I say "screw it" and go out to some neighborhood favorite where we drink too much for a weeknight but talk about our days and our lives and the life we want. In my spare time, I recreate outdoors, sing with a jazz quartet and see my friends for wine and discussions about life and love and goals and vacations we'd like to take.
This was how it was supposed to be: but it's not.
I thought I did everything right. I worked hard through high school to go to a great college. I did well at a great college so that the world would be my oyster. Then I moved far away to try my luck in a new place with new opportunities and to take advantage of the momentum I had as I was launched into the "real world." But I failed. Well, I kind of failed.
Despite my best efforts and a work ethic I honestly didn't know I had, I graduated five years ago and since that time, I've yet to truly make it. I found my way into campaigns, which, I admit, have an inherently short shelf life and offer very little in the way of job security. But, I worked hard and worked well and still I'm not where I'd like to be.
I've got a failed marriage. All of that jet-setting, campaign-focused, single-minded tenacity and a person who theoretically should've fit right in, didn't shield me from the reality of my situation which is that I'd been too busy to notice that the person I married wasn't good for me.
I've been a renter for going on six years and still I'm not really in a position to buy a home. For whatever reason, the banks seem to frown upon people who change jobs every sixteen months and they really don't like people whose occupations are dependent on an election.
So this is where I am. Overqualified, underemployed and underwhelmed. But, the brilliant thing about having months of time without a job to get in the way of life, is that I discovered a new way of living and one I think has merit and application beyond just those women who got the life I imagined for myself someday. I found myself wondering, who WERE these women I'd see out in the middle of the day, shopping, lunching, having coffee and wandering childless through galleries and into movies? Who were these ladies of leisure and how did they do it? What gave them incentive to get out of bed in the morning? Where was their purpose? Could I really be one of them?
This blog is going to be all about the last nine months of my life and the glamorous, insane, fun and heartbreaking things I did as an unemployed woman of some meager means....this will be about my birth as a Modern Lady of Leisure.
No comments:
Post a Comment