How Did I Get Here?

When I ended my last long-term employment in November of 2008, I imagined it would be a struggle to keep the job opportunities at bay long enough to recover from the campaign I'd just finished and get through the Holidays job-free. I'd been working seven days a week for a year straight and I was burned out--not eager to jump into the next thing.

This plan sustained me through a fabulous post-campaign vacation to Jackson Hole, Wyoming. I stayed at a spa, treated myself to massages and facials, nice dinners and relaxation, and generally lived the glamorous lifestyle I wished I'd been born to. There is nothing like donning a super-plush terrycloth robe and padding down to a serene spa pool, overlooking the mountains while sipping herbal tea and listening to new-age instrumental music streaming through invisible speakers, to make you feel like a million fucking bucks. (And as a percentage of my income, that's about what I spent, by the way.) But, talk about seductive!

I returned and within weeks, heavily-alcoholic circumstances dictated that my husband of less than a year and I separate. This was the beginning of the "Dark Phase". I lost my shit. I cast aside my plans to hold out on a new job through the Holidays in light of my impending terror over the bills I was about to inherit. As I started searching, I repeatedly ran up against this wall where no cover letter or reference or recommendation or referral could get me a single lousy interview. Unfortunately, I'm best in person. On paper, I look like a crazy, left-leaning, over-indulged, nepotism-benefiting, hippie. I had half a Master's, and despite having gone to what Forbes has now deemed the 22nd best college in the country, I was unemployable.

Over and over again I read, "At least five years experience in related field"..."MSW or MA preferred"..."JD required"....and these were for jobs grabbing someone's coffee or sorting the mail! Jobs that friends of mine had done in high school now required Master's degrees but preferred Doctorates. I was told repeatedly that I was "overqualified" for the jobs to which I was applying but in my desperation I actually told a woman in HR for a law firm that I was , "willing to take that risk." I was also seeking any escape from my personal life which had utterly collapsed, so I applied for jobs in places like Duluth and Elk River. Worse, I actually entertained the idea of moving to these places to TAKE said shitty receptionist jobs. And so it went....all through December. I went from Tetons and tea tree oil to TLC and terror.